Pure Music + Pure Clubbing = Pure Life

Corny T-Shirt has to go!

Hi, I’m Al, and I LOATHE corny sex t-shirts and the corny women who wear them. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest offenders:

Saying: Vegans get their protein elsewhere.
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My Response: Oh! I get it! You’re trying to say you give a lot of blow jobs! You’re so clever, you semen-guzzling whore!

Saying: I’m so good, I scream out my own name during sex!
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My Response: That’s because you’re probably having sex BY YOURSELF. (And by the way, your pink accessories are as hideous and cheap looking as your t-shirt.)

Saying: Save a virgin, do me instead.
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My Response: Apparently, sluts still like the Comic Sans font. Who knew! Let’s take a minute to do some quick math: Odds of a virgin having an STD: 0%. Odds of this chick having an STD: 1,364%. Proceed with caution.

Saying: Superslut.
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My Response: Hovering in the space where super subtle meets super classy!

Saying: DJs make me horny.
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My Response: If Ryan Seacrest makes you weak in the knees, it’s probably time to close your legs and pick up a book.